Children

For all children with questions about divorce.

Do you have divorced parents, or are your parents getting divorced? Perhaps you're finding this difficult, sad, angry, scared, or perhaps relieved.

Know that all your feelings are valid. You can contact us if you'd like to share your story or just talk to someone.

If you have any questions or would like advice, please contact us.

We are here for you!

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If your parents are separating or perhaps already divorced, it can be difficult. Perhaps they've been arguing for a while, or perhaps they're not even talking to each other. This can make you feel quite bad; angry, sad, or perhaps even scared. What will happen if your parents divorce? Who will you live with? And will you still see your other parent, and how often?

Your parents' divorce is likely raising many more questions. Is there someone you can ask these questions to, and do you have someone to talk to? It's helpful to have someone you can share your story with. You might be able to talk to your parents about it, or you might have a friend or family member you can confide in. Schools often have specialized teachers (your own teacher, a mentor, or a support worker) who can help you with your questions and feelings. In any case, remember that your (unpleasant) feelings are all valid and that it's good to share them with someone. 

You can also contact us. We'll listen to your story, and sometimes that's enough. But if more is needed, we can work with you, and if possible, with your parents, to find a good way to help you feel better. This might involve talking with one of us, or we might enlist the help of someone else. You can call us, send us an email, or fill out the contact form.

Questions & Answers

If your parents are getting divorced, this can be difficult for you. Perhaps your parents have been arguing for a while, or perhaps they are not speaking to each other at all. This can make you feel pretty awful , angry, sad, or maybe even scared. You may be wondering what is going to happen. Who will you live with? And will you still see your other parent, and how often? Even if your parents are already divorced, you may encounter all kinds of questions and emotions. What do you do with your questions, feelings, and emotions? Are you able to talk to someone about this and show how you feel inside? All the feelings you experience deserve a place and are allowed to be there. You can come to us if you want to talk about this or just to share your story. Also if you are worried about your parents' divorce. Or if there are problems at home. Get in touch with us. We are here for you!

So many questions come your way, don't they, when your parents are getting divorced?! For some children, keeping a notebook with all those questions helps. In some families, we advise setting up a "question jar." Your parents are responsible for making good arrangements regarding where you will live, when you see them, and who will take care of you. You can and may, of course, express your wishes, but it is not your job to decide. That task would be far too heavy. Check out this video; maybe it will help you. https://vimeo.com/181902655 . You can find even more videos on www.villapinedo.nl .

Who can be there for you, besides your father and mother? Is there someone in your immediate circle who can support you, perhaps your grandpa or aunt? Sometimes parents are busy arranging all sorts of things. Then it can be difficult to discuss with your mom and dad what you are feeling and what you would most like. Some children make themselves almost invisible because they know their parents already have so much on their minds. Other children literally scream for attention and make themselves very big and audible. However you feel, it matters. All children want to be seen and heard. What you can do—well, that is a good question, but a difficult one to answer. After all, it is not your job to start organizing things. That task would be far too heavy. Check out this video; maybe it will help you. https://vimeo.com/181902655 . You can find even more videos at www.villapinedo.nl .

If your parents divorce or separate, you have certain rights as a child. These rights can protect you from negative influences and help you have a happy and bright future:

You have the right to contact both parents, regardless of your feelings about the other parent. You don't have to choose between one parent and the other.

· You have the right to continue seeing both parents' families.

· You have the right to form your own image of both parents, without it being colored by either parent.

· You have the right and the time to get used to the new situation.

· You have the right to be kept out of the conflict.

· You have the right to engage in activities appropriate to your age, such as school, work and friends.

· You have the right to express your opinion.

· You are entitled to help if you get stuck.

Villa Pinedo is a website specifically for children whose parents are getting divorced or separating. Many of your questions may already be answered on this website. You can also chat or talk with children or peers who have gone through the same thing as you. Take a look: www.villapinedo.nl.

Yes, there are books about divorce for children of all ages.

Children in general

  • Divorce bullshit. Michal Janssen: Workbook for children of divorced parents.
  • To all divorced parents. Marsha Pinedo: Children speaking for themselves, personal stories, what they experience, feel and think.
  • You don't have to do it alone. Villa Pinedo: The book that's there for you when your parents are separating. Stories and drawings by children.

Books for toddlers and preschoolers

  • I have two bears. 2,5 yearsConny Boendermaker: When the blue bear from Mom's house goes to stay with Dad, he doesn't get along with the bear in Dad's house.
  • Magic drops. 0-3 Nathalie Slosse: Magic Drops invites young children to talk about grief and comfort. A treasure chest full of games and crafts from the Tears Fairy is included at the back of the book.
  • When your mom and dad are separated. Me, you, and us. From 3 years. Pauline Oud: The "I, You & Us" series explores topics like divorce, grieving, and saying goodbye through personalized books. They help children express and share their emotions and feelings.
  • Two of everything. From 4 years oldBabette Cole: Two children decide to have their parents divorce because they argue so much.
  • Two of a Kind: On the Meaning of Divorce for Young Children. From 4 years. Martine Delfos, Sterre and Jordi's parents divorced because they argued too much. The divorce has serious consequences for Sterre and Jordi. + e-book
  • Witch and Wizard. From 4 years oldBrigitte Minne: Witch and Wizard are happy with their two children, until after years they start to irritate each other and decide to divorce.
  • The king went out to kill the dragon. From 4 years old. B. Spannenberg: Stories for children of divorced parents.
  • Kamil, the green chameleon. Vfrom 4 years oldDanielle Steggink: When a little green chameleon's parents divorce, he's deeply upset, but a wise green chameleon helps him navigate his mother's yellow world and his father's blue. Children witness domestic violence.
  • Are you coming? From 4 years. Sjoerd Kuyper: The book is about a little boy named Nesta. It's a book full of relatability, especially for the many children who find themselves with parents who are going through a divorce or are already divorced. Beautiful illustrations and collages.
  • But you're still my daddy. From 5 years old. Ann De Bode and Rien Broere: After her parents' divorce, An becomes quite confused when her mother gets a new boyfriend. 

Books for primary school-aged children

  • At home with both of them. Mike van Dam: a warm and beautifully illustrated picture book about divorce and co-parenting, where the parents still get along well.
  • We to You: Memory book for children of divorced people parents mini (5 to 11 years) From Us to You: (website) A creative activity book for children, helps children to reflect on their emotions and encourages them to talk about the separation + large co-parenting transfer book.
  • Marathon and sweetheart. 5 to 8 years. Gwen Eckhaus: Read-aloud + activity book about a girl.
  • We will always love you (cultural). From 5 years old Asiyah Kalin:  When their parents decide to divorce, Dawood and his sister Yasmina face many questions. They are angry, anxious, and above all, sad. They don't quite know what their lives will be like when they no longer live together. Fortunately, they learn to cope better.
  • The summer when love slowly disappeared. 4 to 8 years. Kristel Naessens: Roxie gets caught up in the conflict between her parents. With great feeling, Roxie recounts her struggle to cope with her parents' divorce. A book for all ages.
  • This, a father and violin. incl. CD. From 5 to 9 years oldL. Mulders: Dees loves his rabbit, the sprinkles in the morning, and the sound of his father's violin. He'd prefer everything to stay the way it is.
  • Fathers, mothers? Hard-boiled eggs! Jacques Vriens, from 6 yearsJan and Nikkie have a secret club and tell each other everything. This works out well when Nikkie is upset about her parents' divorce.
  • Stijntje Stoer. From 6 years oldDad doesn't live at home anymore. Sometimes Stijntje misses him.
  • Scared, angry, happy. From 6 years oldLianne van Lith: A book about what happened during the divorce and afterward. You can draw and write in the book about everything you feel. Divorce and afterward. Drawing and writing to give all the things they feel inside a place.
  • Weekend dad. From 6 years oldNelleke Scherpbier: Jesse's parents are getting divorced, and he's finding it difficult. His story includes some discussion questions for you.
  • To and fro. From 6 years old.  Marja Baseler: informative and an activity book for children whose parents are divorced. A stylishly designed book to browse, read, and zap through. It also includes tips for activities in a workbook. A great read for parents!
  • Together with Sander. From 7 years oldKolet Janssen: Dries lives with his mother and her boyfriend. Sofie and Sander sometimes live there too, but Dries and Sander can't stand each other.
  • Apart. From 7 years. Veronique Puts: Acht is a girl with divorced parents. With space to write down your own thoughts.
  • Custard with flakes every day.  From 7 years. Mariel Roelfsema (Child Advocate): Fleur and Joost. Questions from children. Provides additional support for a follow-up conversation about the story.
  • Hutspot and Couscous. From age 7.  Mariel Roelfsema (Child Advocate): The sequel to: Every Day Custard with Flakes. About Maartje and blended families. It provides additional support for a follow-up conversation about the story.
  • Bahar on the moon. From age 7. Michael de Cock: Reading book. It looks like Ruman's parents' pizzeria will be closing because they're getting divorced. Bahar is saddened by the sudden end of their love.
  • Suitcase-Koen. From 8 years oldAnnie van Gansewinkel: Koen loves collecting. It's difficult that he has to move his treasures back and forth between his mother and father twice a week.
  • The dragon path. From 8 years oldCarry Slee: Floortje still has to get used to a new house with her mom, but without her dad. But in the woods, she discovers a mysterious place!
  • Hokus pokus….. Plas! From 8 years old. Carry Slee: Milan's peace is disturbed when his mother's boyfriend's daughter comes to stay and tries to smear him to everyone.
  • How do you mean? From 9 years. Elsbeth de Jager: Naomi's parents are getting divorced. Her father is getting a new partner, a man.
  • Willem is a werewolf. From 9 years oldHermine Landvreugd: After their parents' divorce, Willem and his brother Mick live apart; yet they see each other a lot, and strange things happen.
  • I'm Willem! From 9 years oldHermine Landvreugd: Willem lives with his mother during the week and with his father on weekends. He loses his grandmother, but gains a baby sister.
  • Lena's Secret List. From 9 years oldFrancine Oomen: Lena's parents are divorced. To clear up the clutter in her head, she makes lists of everything.
  • Carlin. From 9 years oldLily van der Velde: Carlijn has recently moved to The Hague with her mother, much against her will. Her father, who never had time for her, stayed in Zeeland. Everything is disappointing in The Hague.
  • Apart. From 9 years. Bette Westera: poems and illustrations, a lighthearted approach to the theme, a comforting, moving, and surprising children's book.
  • First aid for difficult parents. 9-12 years. Elisa van Spronsen: Jip's parents are arguing more and more. Are they getting divorced? Jip hopes not and does everything she can to make her parents fall in love again. A fun book in the "Easy & Fun" series, especially for children who find reading difficult or boring. Dyslexia-friendly!
  • Julia has two houses. N. Wisse Smit: 6 stories about Julia, divorce > general, feelings about children, grief, moving, new partner and expanding the family.
  • We to YouCraft card book, love from me! Homesickness, talking about "missing" and being creative at the same time > card for a parent.
  • EHBS; First aid in case of divorce. From 9 years old. Esther Kant and Machteld Hardick: interactive help workbook, tips, activities, experiences Puck, a 9-year-old girl, humor, sadness, anger and insight.
  • The SurvivalKID, divorce. 9 to 12. Luc Descamps: This book was written especially for you. Read it and learn how to find a solution for everything. Share this book with
     
  • Desert mom, freezer sister and me. From 10 years old. Janne Kato: A boy tries to find out why his father has grown to love his mother less and less.|
  • Sanne's diary and Paul's diary. From 10 years oldChristine Nostlinger: Sanne and Paul each tell in their diaries about the things they often experience together.
  • A very special dog: Martine Nijhoff, from 10 yearsPieter's father has suddenly left for Italy with the dog. Pieter misses him terribly and writes him letters. To his delight, the dog writes back.
  • Plaster. From 10 years old. Anna Woltz: exciting, funny and educational book about 12-year-old Felicia and her experience of the divorce.
  • Hugs in the basement. From 10 years oldAngelique de Waard: Sterre doesn't have an easy life, and then her parents are getting divorced. She tries to draw what she feels.
  • Just happy. From 10 years old. Laurence Rees: Practical, intelligent survival strategies from 11-year-old Libby.
  • Parents in the wild. From 6 to 14 years old. Liesbeth Groenhuijsen: Fleur (12) sadness and anger about her parents' divorce, also in an AUDRICAL BOOK (2:18). With space to write down your own thoughts.
  • I belong to both of youMJM Fiddelaers-Jaspers: workbook for children, it's a relief when you can write down what you feel or draw a picture of it.
  • The Secret & Lena List.  From 11 years. Francine Oomen: Lena's life has been very complicated since her parents divorced. Funny. Also available as an audiobook.
  • Frogs made of plush and plastic. From 11 years oldCaroline Bongrand: The mind of an eleven-year-old girl who begins to realize that her father has left them for another woman.
  • A quarter of an hour. From 11 years oldAnne Fine: Five students with divorced parents share their experiences with their parents and stepfamily.
  • Loose sand.  From 11 years old. Gerry Velema: Maarten is having a hard time with his parents' divorce and even more difficult with his father's new girlfriend.
  • My father lives in the garden house. Suitable for group 8Jacques Vriens: Twins Joeri and Lara take turns sharing their experiences of the separation. Exciting, funny, and educational.

Books for young people up to and including 18 years old

  • Divorce!  From 10-16.  Jeannette Jonker: Everything you need to know when your parents are getting divorced, 25 young people share tips. The ultimate guide to divorce.
  • I love what I love. From 12 years oldAfter their parents' divorce, Heleen and Chris have to build a new life.
  • Torn. From 12 years oldKate Cann: A 16-year-old girl's parents are separating, and her boyfriend breaks up with her. The tensions become too much for her, and she seeks help from a therapist to sort things out.
  • PS Longer letter to follow. From 12 years oldPaula Danziger and Ann Martin: After one of them moves away, Tara and Elizabeth continue their friendship through correspondence. They discover how much they can mean to each other when Elizabeth's parents divorce.
  • Montelimar. From 12 years old. Nelle Heykamp: After her parents' divorce, a 12-year-old girl struggles to accept her mother's new boyfriend.
  • No men allowed. From 12 years old. Marilyn Levinson: After her parents' divorce, Cassie struggles to cope with her feelings for her father, who left her mother for another woman.
  • From bad to worse. From 12 years oldCynthia Voigt: When Mickey's parents want to divorce, she does everything she can to prevent it.
  • PS I am your daughter. From 12 years oldJacques Vriens and Mirjam Oldenhave: Sonia, 13, tries to contact her father after 10 years. They correspond. Sonia has been removed from her home because she can no longer live with her mother. Her anger regularly gets her into trouble. Her father is an alcoholic and an unemployed actor. He still can't handle the responsibility of being a father.
  • My parents are getting divorced... and then I? From 13 years oldJacqueline van Swet: Young people talk about their experiences with their parents' divorce.
  • We have to tell you something. From age 13. Marlies Slegers: A moving young adult novel about divorced parents. About letting go, acceptance, and love. Thirteen-year-old Hazel's parents are getting a divorce, and Hazel is sent to live with her grandmother.
  • The last letter. From 13 years. Hanneke de Jong: Now that Berber lives alone with her mother, she's suffocated by her worry. After a series of strange notes, it turns out her mother has a reason for her behavior.
  • We to You: Memory book for children with divorce parents maxi (12-16)A creative activity book for children, helping them to reflect on their emotions and encouraging them to talk about the separation + major co-parenting transition book. Website from us to you.
  • beer. Casper by Marleen Schmitz: Casper's anger and sadness over the divorce lead to him destroying everything in a drunken stupor.
  • I love what I love. Marijn Backer: Chris, 14, love, dreams.
  • OtherRagnar Hovland: 14-year-old Anders flees after his parents' divorce, runs away, lives in the forest, Audiobook (B)
  • As your parents are separating (workbook)Mariska Klein Velderman and Fieke Pannebakker: thought-provoking questions, exercises, a diary, feelings, insights, information about divorce, children's rights. Tips and statements from other children/young people.
  • How do I get over my divorce? parents going? Lisa M. Schab: act/practice. Feelings, thoughts, tools. Uncertain, tense, angry, and sad.
  • No signature. From 14 years oldMarijn Backer: After the divorce, Steve hasn't heard from his father for years. When he goes looking for him, he discovers his secret.
  • Melinda. From 14 years oldMargaret Willey: Melinda has had enough of catering to her divorced parents' wishes. During her vacation, she sets out to find space for her own life.
  • My parents are divorced. From 15 years oldMaria Stoorvogel and Anne Westerduin: Young people share their experiences with their parents' divorce. This book can be a helpful tool for understanding and processing your parents' divorce.
  • Parents separated, I have that! 13 – 17 years. Lianne van Lith Marjolijn van Dorp: "The prince and princess lived happily ever after..." NOT! Read the stories of other young people and you'll see that there are many similarities. The actions, facts, and tips will help you cope with your parents' divorce.
  • Heart at school. Comic strip. Puberty age. Su Kids & Digits: While Ruby's parents are going through a difficult divorce, Lina experiences the perfect love story with the handsome Noah. A complicated divorce and heartbreak.
  • Nazmiye and SultanCulture book. Ineke Wienese: Turkish women and their daughters talk about the divorce.

 

 

Contact us

You can contact us with all your questions, whether you're a parent, child, or loved one of someone going through a divorce or who has already divorced. We also offer support and advice to professionals working in the field who encounter children in a divorce situation.

Contact us